Anger & Stress

You get angry, and you get over it quickly.  Let’s consider that response is normal behavior and not a problem.  But, what happens to your stress levels when you suppress and internalize your anger and your anger doesn’t go away?  What if your anger stays active just below the surface?  Are you making stress your constant companion?  Are stress and anger then preventing you from having normal emotions—emotions that would let you enjoy a good life?  If you are stressed out, what value can you bring to those around you or to yourself?  Are you bringing weakness and defeat to the game of life?

What is happening when you have to take your anger out on something or someone else?  Is road-rage a good example?  Physical child and spousal abuse are obvious cases, but what about verbal abuse in the form of nagging, undermining, viscous gossip, and degrading comments?  Each example is the result of stress and anger creating efforts to abuse others.  Dominant anger and stress are abusive to you and those around you—often to those you care about the most.

How to Improve

Look at the Cycle:

1.       Anger Causes: acts of others, personal goofs, circumstances, etc.

2.       Anger Responses: rebuke, yell, threaten, hit, or internalize for self-abuse.

3.       Anger Results: create improvements, hurt others, hurt yourself or your property, or lost opportunities.  

Pick Better Options

Anger Causes: For how long are you willing the let the actions of others control and ruin your life—10 seconds, an hour, a day, a week, more?  What about your own mistakes?  Are you looking for excuses to be angry?  Are you hiding behind anger and stress?  What are you afraid of?

Anger Responses: Can you control your responses and maybe even laugh at most of the stupid behavior that was making you angry?  Can you take the responsibility for dealing rationally with the items that require your action?  Can you deny others and events from controlling and destroying your life with your anger and stress responses? 

Anger Result: Can you decide that you no longer want to be controlled by resident anger and stress?  Can you affirm that you refuse to be crippled by using anger and stress as a crutch?  Can you learn to nurture instead of harmfully abusing yourself and others?  Can you recognize that abusive people will generally harm themselves far more that anything you could do to them? 

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